Don't Give Up!

I have neglected my blog for far too long, now there is so much I want to talk about I'm going to have to pace myself :)

The last few weeks in church have been, well, "revolutionary" for me.  It seems as if each Sunday's sermon is somehow directed straight towards me and my (and my family's) situation.  This past Sunday Rev. Jenny talked about Jesus' journey towards his impending death...he knew he was going to be humiliated, tortured, spat upon, ridiculed, and ultimately executed...yet he also knew that from that would come something so good and so wonderful that is defies description - so he walked forth - shoulders back, head held high..

A few days before Sunday Service I had told Charlie that I can feel something good is going to come from all that I (and we) are going through.  The road we are traveling right now is scarey, the destination is unknown at the moment, just my medical treatment alone is frightening to say the least.  But, I know in my heart of hearts that there is a reason...I can feel it just as sure as I'm sitting here breathing. 

With that in mind, and with the continued support of my husband, family, friends, community, doctors,...I too am going to hold my head up high and throw my shoulders back and walk forward (even though it's terrifying).  And while I might be terrified I know there is a bigger, grander plan..and that will come.  God will see to it.

Sometimes you have to go through all the "bad" to see what is real, what is important, and where your gifts are...to see God's plan for you.  That's becoming much clearer to me with each passing day.

I don't believe in luck.  I believe in God.  God led me to my church, which has proven itself to be a perfect fit.  God has given my husband and family and friends the help they have needed to deal with my condition and treatment...and "uncertain" future.

I asked Charlie yesterday coming home from my Support Group something about prayer and he quoted the Bible - I, of course, cannot remember the quote - but it was to the effect of never ceasing to pray and God will answer.  So I told him that I have prayed...and prayed, but I don't "hear" God "answering" me.  Charlie (I just love him!) said, "You're not listening."  Those 3 little words meant so much - he's right.  My mind is so full of worry, and far too many other things to list that it would be impossible to hear anything.

God wants us to pray without ceasing and to listen...really listen.  As I walk forward towards the unknown, towards that which is frightening, that is what I intend to do...

God Bless,
Shawn