Don't Give Up!

I have neglected my blog for far too long, now there is so much I want to talk about I'm going to have to pace myself :)

The last few weeks in church have been, well, "revolutionary" for me.  It seems as if each Sunday's sermon is somehow directed straight towards me and my (and my family's) situation.  This past Sunday Rev. Jenny talked about Jesus' journey towards his impending death...he knew he was going to be humiliated, tortured, spat upon, ridiculed, and ultimately executed...yet he also knew that from that would come something so good and so wonderful that is defies description - so he walked forth - shoulders back, head held high..

A few days before Sunday Service I had told Charlie that I can feel something good is going to come from all that I (and we) are going through.  The road we are traveling right now is scarey, the destination is unknown at the moment, just my medical treatment alone is frightening to say the least.  But, I know in my heart of hearts that there is a reason...I can feel it just as sure as I'm sitting here breathing. 

With that in mind, and with the continued support of my husband, family, friends, community, doctors,...I too am going to hold my head up high and throw my shoulders back and walk forward (even though it's terrifying).  And while I might be terrified I know there is a bigger, grander plan..and that will come.  God will see to it.

Sometimes you have to go through all the "bad" to see what is real, what is important, and where your gifts are...to see God's plan for you.  That's becoming much clearer to me with each passing day.

I don't believe in luck.  I believe in God.  God led me to my church, which has proven itself to be a perfect fit.  God has given my husband and family and friends the help they have needed to deal with my condition and treatment...and "uncertain" future.

I asked Charlie yesterday coming home from my Support Group something about prayer and he quoted the Bible - I, of course, cannot remember the quote - but it was to the effect of never ceasing to pray and God will answer.  So I told him that I have prayed...and prayed, but I don't "hear" God "answering" me.  Charlie (I just love him!) said, "You're not listening."  Those 3 little words meant so much - he's right.  My mind is so full of worry, and far too many other things to list that it would be impossible to hear anything.

God wants us to pray without ceasing and to listen...really listen.  As I walk forward towards the unknown, towards that which is frightening, that is what I intend to do...

God Bless,
Shawn

Bucket List!

So for weeks now I've been jotting down things I would like to accomplish at some point in my life.  I keep losing my lists and, of course, forgetting them (thankyou ECT treatments for the memory loss)...so I've decided to make a "Bucket List" and just add to it as I think of things.  It's pretty cool to actually write them down and go back and look at them, and motivating.  If you don't have a Bucket List you might want to consider doing one for yourself!  Here goes...and these are not necessarily in order of importance!

1.  Learn to scuba dive
2.  Take up swimming again
3.  Learn a lot more about US history - my lack of knowledge there is, frankly, embarrasing
4.  Run in a marathon - hopefully one that raises money for mental health causes
5.  Exercise at least 3 times a week
6.  Run at least 3 times a week
7.  Write a book
8.  Start a Bipolar Support Group in Kingwood
9.  Go on a cruise
10.  Live my life daily with true spiritual meaning
11.  Go to Hawaii with Charlie
12.  Get my BA
13.  Take Charlie to Disney World
14.  Go to DC when the Dogwoods bloom
15.  Fly in a helicopter
16.  Learn, and practice yoga
17.  Read at least 15 non-fiction books regarding history in some form
18.  Forgive
19.  Pray more often and with deeper meaning
20.  Make a quilt
21.  Knit something
22.  Swim with dolphins (again!)
23.  Take walks more often
24.  Say "God Bless You" to everyone that I hear sneeze
25.  Train Hooper to become a Therapy Dog (or, attempt to train him lol)
26.  Be a vegatarian for 30 days
27.  Become an active member of a Church
28.  Learn to work my Ipod and download music
29.  Teach Charlie to swim and snow ski

More to follow...