Faith

It's hard to believe it's been so many weeks since my last post...time has a way of slipping past us, un-noticed. 

Much has happened since I posted last...probably the most significant is that Judge Miller removed himself from my case.  As a result, I will be appointed a new Judge by the Supreme Court Justices.  I haven't received word yet as to who the new Judge will be, but I'm anxiously awaiting that news.

I also have change psychiatrists - my new doc is Dr. Kavara Vaughn at Chestnut Ridge.  I have met with her once thus far and really liked her and her staff.  She will not be leaving Chestnut Ridge for approximately two years...which was one of my requirements.  I'm not fond of switching docs - takes far too long to find one you trust that is willing to really get to know you.  And usually new docs want to change your meds - she does want to add a mood stabilizer to what I'm already taking which sounds like a good idea to me, so I'm open to trying!

I've been thinking so much lately about what my future holds...I know God has a plan for me, and with that in mind I'm finding myself more comfortable and less worried.  My last ECT treatment was last Wednesday and I seemed to recover pretty quickly, which makes having them a lot more tolerable!!

I've started exercising pretty regularly - each day doing cardio and weights.  That has had a tremendous impact on my stamina and mood.  I'm finding it could be key in the success of all other treatment and don't think the doctors put enough emphasis on the psychological benefits of exercise.  Exercise creates the good chemicals that work between the pathways in the brain.  The more good chemicals that are present the better for people with any mental illness. I'm also attempting (emphasis on "attempting") to change my diet and those with whom I chose to surround myself.  Processed sugars are not good for Bipolar Disorder, additives, chemicals etc.  Those things seems to have more of a "mood" impact on Bipolar suffers than you might think.

We found out last week that one of my meds that was previously on the PEIA "preferred" drug list is now no longer on that list which results in a much, much higher payment for me.  I'm going to be calling our insurance company to see if I can get that changed.  I've also been looking into 90 day bipolar rehab programs in the Eastern US, which we're hoping might be an alternative in sentencing if need be...They actually sound very good and seem that they could be very beneficial, I'll have to check into the insurance for that as well.

I'm very happy to let everyone know that we have been spending a great deal more time with Charlie's kids and their families.  I seem to be getting especially close to Chase, our grandson, which makes my heart so happy!!!  My only concern is that if I do have to "go away" for any length of time...I'm afraid that not only will I have to start over medically, but also I'm scared of losing ground that's been gained with Charlie's kids...it would break my heart...of that, I am certain.

My time with Charlie has been wonderful...as usual.  So many people seem surprised by the amount of time we like to spend together...it seems so normal to us.  He is truly my best friend and knows me better than anyone...loving him is like breathing...I don't even think about it, I do it and if it were taken away I truly believe I would just die without the "breath" of his love for me.  Of that I am also certain.

We are planning a vacation which will begin in the next couple of weeks, I'm really looking forward to getting away from all that distracts us here at home and at work...

Wishing you all a wonderful couple of weeks - I will check back in soon!!